Have you ever thought about a disagreement or fight in your relationships, family or at work? Are you sometimes wondering what happened, who caused it and what went wrong? You may be thinking it is someone else who went ballistic, but maybe it was you who did not communicate clearly?
Do you sometimes – with your colleagues – gossip about the manager or the boss’s silly communication ideas, and just wished you could resign and work somewhere else?
These are questions we all need to answer for ourselves from time to time. None of us can exist without communication. We sometimes think or feel that we will not even bother to “communicate” with a certain person or group.
But even as you refuse to speak and remain angry, you are already sending a strong message. It has been said that we cannot not communicate. That is true. Think about all that self-talk going on in your head. The good news is that you are not alone.
Communication is always divided in two “modes” or “codes”: verbal communication, which uses spoken or written language; and nonverbal communication, or body language. These are all those give-away messages that we often “leak” and which tell more than a thousand words – a blush, a stutter, hand gestures, avoiding eye contact, your posture and way of walking, or your gaze when you think nobody is watching. It is the shock in your face when you hear bad news, or the crying that happens when you are sad. It is the frown that shows you are worried or in pain when you are talking to others.
So, a regular question is this: can anyone improve or even change their verbal and nonverbal communication skills?
Of course we can all become better communicators with some knowledge and practice. If individuals can become better communicators, imagine how much more effective an organisation can become when internal and external communication is improved.
If you have a speech to make, or need to persuade someone or do a presentation, or if you are in a relationship filled with misunderstandings and conflict, it could be helpful to analyse your verbal and nonverbal communication. All it takes is a bit of courage. We are not talking about The Mentalist stuff – just awareness of how you actually communicate, and if another approach could possibly work better.
Why don’t you contact me to assist with your personal or work communication?
You can also have great relationships everywhere, if we can work on it for an hour or two.